My relationship with the USPS

Many of you know about my relationship with my mailman.  It's uncomfortable.  And with my luck, he is probably reading this blog post right now.  Don't get me wrong, mailman, you're nice.  In fact, a little too nice.  It would be one thing for me to pay extra attention to you as you are my one and only mail carrier, but  I am one of how many people you deliver mail to? 

At first I thought maybe I was just being too harsh and not giving him a fair chance.  Maybe he is just that friendly with everyone?  After acknowledging him again and "giving him another chance", I have decided I am pretty sure he (let's call him Doug) comes up with excuses to knock on my door and chat from time to time.  While large and pregnant over the summer, I got sick of having to put a bra on just to sit in my own house, as Doug would knock almost everyday. He would claim that something was too big to fit through my slot (TWSS) or he had a fragile package to deliver (TWSS) when really it was just an order of 4x6 photographs. If he wasn't knocking, he was letting himself into the fence in the backyard as I was hiding in the shade watching Lucy play.  Then he would start up conversations about the baby coming and how he was hoping to be able to "help out".  What? How? What does that even mean?  Soon, I couldn't be at home if I wanted to avoid Doug.

For a while I found myself trying to hide or not be home around noon when "Doug" would come around, but he would start to wait to give me my mail until I got home, or randomly show up in his mail van when I returned from a walk long after his delivery.  He would offer some fresh vegetables from his garden, or in the winter, ask that Lucy write a Santa letter to him.  Did I mention he sits in his van right outside our house to eat lunch everyday?

Anyway, I still go back and forth regularly about Doug - is he just nice? Or is he creepy?  (Opinions welcome) Most friends and family have leaned towards creepy.  By the way, Mom, you sent the girls a Valentine the other day that required an extra $.07 for postage...giving Doug a reason to knock and chat a while. 

Anyway, it doesn't stop at my door.  One of the employees who works at the actual post office has to make some sort of comment everytime I go in and makes terrible jokes that I have to fake laugh at, for example: "If you want it to get there sooner it's $4.90, but I suppose the last time you waited for something it was nine whole months!" right after I had Clara and, no, she wasn't with me.  When I was sending out wedding invitations he made some bizarre joke about marriage that I didn't quite understand.  I don't know, he's harmless, but sometimes I wish I had a little more anonymity when I just want to mail something.

I had a refreshing visit recently, where I asked how much something would be to ship back home to Hudson.  The nice young man punched in from memory Hudson's zip code of 54016.  I was in awe.  I decided he's alright.  Side note: evidence #547 that I am old - I just referred to the post office employee as a "nice young man" when I am 99% sure he's at least five years older than me.

Fast forward to early last week.  I ordered a couple new pairs of jeans from BabyGap for Miss Lu and since I spent (insert conservative enough amount that my husband won't be too upset about here), I earned free shipping.  I was proud of myself for saving with an online-only 30% off code and, of course, the free shipping.  I was not loading up both babes into the car and spending money on gas for the 30-minute drive to the mall to pay full price and come home several impulsive purchases later.  After checking out (thank you, Notepad document, for keeping that little 16-digit number convenient for me so I don't have to dig through my purse everytime....), I was told that it would take 7-10 days.  Oh, the agony.  I have been checking FedEx.com night and day tracking that slow-as-molasses package.  After the mail man came by today (not Doug-must be his day off) I saw that my package is sitting here in Austin at the post office waiting to be delivered to my house via US mail.  Looks like another talk about the weather with Doug tomorrow....