Monday, May 2, 2011

I have been meaning to write this since my last post and now here I am between a diaper change, a cup of coffee, and getting Lucy dressed, I couldn't leave this hanging over my head any longer.

I feel as though I was misleading with my last post.  I really didn't receive any bad feedback from two posts ago from anyone and as far as I know I didn't offend anyone.  My dear husband brought to my attention that I had brought up a delicate subject that could hurt some people I am very close to.  I re read it over and over again and decided I was as tactful as I possibly could be.  Tony was, in no way, harsh about it, but being I respect his opinion possibly moreso than anyone else, it was heavy on my heart to the point that I felt I had to say something. 

I have come to a crossroad.  If I am going to write I want to be real and share my experiences and opinions.  What is the point of writing otherwise?  I am not going to make up fluff and sugarcoat everything.  The good, the bad, the ugly, this is my life.  I guess there is always a margin there of censorship.  Did I go too far? Maybe.  Do I feel I addressed some uncomfortable subjects the best I knew how? Yes. 

When I said I had been overwhelmed with responses, I did not necessarily mean negative ones.  I had a lot of people write back very nice responses, but still feel maybe they didn't "get it".  It seemed that many people had told me that what I do is better than this, that or the other thing, but I never meant to compete with other people and their lives.  I just meant to share my experience and how it has worked out for me. 

I have been so flattered and, yes again overwhelmed (in a good way), by texts, emails, phone calls, comments of friends and family asking me to continue to write.  I guess the drama queen inside me felt I "couldn't go on" (queue backhand on forehead with my eyes closed and some really extravagant orchestra in the background).  But here I am :) 

Ironically, I am going to leave you with this, a quote from a "friend of a friend" regarding blogs and their narcissistic nature.  This friend of mine had raised her security settings for who could view her blog, and this is the response she received;

"Today I realized personal blogs are the epitome of self servingness and egotistical banter. I really don't need to read today how you took a piss then wiped your ass. I think it's about people who feel they need to be the center of attention and will do anything to achieve such a goal. End rant.....:):) have a nice day!"

On that note, I don't have any plans to "conclude" my blog anytime soon ;)

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