Checkbook Bootcamp

Today I had coffee with my friend Michelle who was visting her in-laws in Rochester for the holiday.  Michelle is about 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl (YAY!) and being that she also has an amazing blog, we had so much to talk about!  Michelle has been blogging about life on the cheap and ways to save money, coupon clipping, etc.  She introduced me to (and let me borrow) the Dave Ramsey book Total Money Makeover which she says has changed her life. 

Tony and I haven't really looked at our budget since early 2008 when we were trying to figure out how much we could afford for a house.  Over the course of the past two and a half years, we've had a baby, some bonuses, a wedding, another baby, a kitchen remodel, a raise or two, a couple new (to us) cars... you get it.  We need a bit of a budget refresher.  Because of recent (heated) discussions about money, (remember the Target bill?) Tony and I have started an experiment.  For the past two weeks he has done all of the grocery shopping so he can gain some insight (control) as well as see how much things cost so I don't feel as though I have to defend every grocery trip.  As for me, I am trying a cash-only budget and so far it has been OK.  Not great and not the hardest, but OK.  I am looking forward to diving into this book and seeing how it goes.  I have come to the realization that I can't pass up a really good deal.  Note: really good. I can pass up good deals, but when I have a Wednesday 40% off full price item at BabyGap and I don't use it, it crushes my soul a little bit. Then I have dreams of Clara in the cutest ruffle dress the world has ever seen (which is naturally full price) and I wake up feeling deprived and depressed.  These are serious issues.

They say the number one conflict in most marriages is money, second is parenting.  I would say that sounds right on par in our relationship.  Tony is the conservative spender, I am...well, not.  Tony is the disciplinarian, I am the one who could cry just from seeing my babies cry. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but we both grew up with very different parenting styles.  We also both say that our own parents were "firm but fair" and consider ourselves to be the same while not using the term to desribe one another.

Anyway, back to money. What am I thinking trying to control my shopping and eating compulsions at the same time??  I know what you're thinking, You? Compulsive? I had no idea.  Yes, it's true.  My name is Anna and I'm an emotional spender/eater/sewer...I spend and eat my feelings.  I understand this may come as a shock to you.
Lucy recently told me that Daddy went to go to work at Hormel so we "can shop at Target and go to dance class and wear pretty dresses."  I can't imagine who would have told her that.  Even when we disagree, Tony still keeps a great sense of humor about things.  As for me, I am hoping that my Etsy shop and my blog will generate a little bit of revenue (why yes, did you know that when you come read my blog and click on my sponsor's advertisements to your right and below, I make a couple of cents?  You are welcome to give it a try....) as I tend to go back and forth constantly about working and staying at home.  Tony would prefer I stay at home, but he would also prefer I not go to Target everyday or spend so much time on babygap.com and I just don't know if I can handle that.  A friend of mine, who works, asked me to make a list of all the great things about staying at home to help her decide whether or not to quit her job.  I can't say for sure whether or not it helped her, but writing it down in black and white like that really helped me.  These are my top five reasons I gave her for being a SAHM;

5. Even the most reasonable daycare is expensive and adds up.  To pay someone else to get paid doesn't always make a lot of sense to me.
4. I would have to have a job that I loved (almost) as much as I love my babies to consider making the extra money worth it.
3. I seem so busy staying at home (stay-at-home-mom who is seldom at home) that I can't imagine how I would ever keep up a schedule with a full time job.
2. I don't have to work. I could buy more things if I did, but I don't have to.
1. My girls will never be babies/little kids ever again.

That said, I sometimes get so overwhelmed by everything I do here at home that I think a job might actually be less challenging for me. Also, being a social person, sometimes I feel like I need more adult stimulation - not just the phone conversations that I have (and are constantly interrupted by crying or feeding) but to be immersed in an adult world is also appealing to me. I know when all of my kids are in school I am going to consider that to be "my time" to either work full time, start my own business or possibly even go back to school. It would also be nice to have more financial freedom. I sometimes wonder if I would enjoy the girls more and have more patience with them if we weren't together all the time.

The conclusion that I have come up with is this - my time is worth a lot. As in so much, you couldn't afford to hire me. As long as I can continue to write my blog and express myself (cliche, I know, I'm sorry) writing about things like losing baby fat, clipping coupons, potty training, keeping my sanity, DIY projects and run a one-person-sweat-shop out of my once-was-formal-dining-room while juggling a sick baby and a sassy two-year-old, then I will do just that.  And if I can make a buck or two in the mean time, so be it.