Financial Peace

From some of the things I shared about in my last post, I had a friend contact me today asking about Total Money Makeover.  She was probably just asking for the name of the book or a small synopsis, but I ended up writing to her just short of a novel.  I get so excited about sharing on the subject that I don't even know where to start...or where to end.

Money has (until recently) been the biggest contention between Tony and I. We both grew up very differently, and it's no secret that I have never been a saver. I have always been absolutely horrible with money and Tony is very very frugal...to a fault.

So we read this book. It's called "The Total Money Makeover".   It has seriously changed our lives. I found out that Dave Ramsey, who wrote the book, has several other books, a huge following, and a daily radio show which I personally listen to as podcasts every single day.

The basic premise of the book is to build wealth with your biggest wealth building tool, which is your income.  To save money or invest it, you need to first get rid of all debt (ALL of it. even the house eventually) and to never go into debt again. If you read the book it is very persuasive when it shows you how much money you save when you never borrow. (For example, with today's average car payment invested in a good growth stock mutual fund would be worth over 5 million dollars in 30 years!!) It also has seven baby steps to building wealth with budgeting forms.

Before this, Tony and I attempted to make a budget only once and it was before Lucy was born just to try to decide if Tony's job offer was enough to buy our house. We had no idea what we were doing.  I think we budgeted around $20/month for diapers.  How cute and naive of us.  Needless to say, I wish we would have read this book a long time ago, especially before getting married.  They say money problems are the number one cause of divorce.  I believe it.

Without sharing too much about our income, I will say our household income has always been well above the average Americans, but we had no idea where it was going and it never seemed to be enough. I became convinced to finally commit to the "plan" when Tony presented some math to me.  He said with some work and a written budget, on his salary alone, never making a dollar more, never getting a raise or a promotion,  (whch he has done both -- what a stud!) we could be millionaires long before retirement.   That got my attention.

Wanting to be worth millions is different than actually working towards it.  As I have mentioned before, we I failed miserably the first time we attempted this.  Tony was on board and I had one foot in and one foot out. I hated the idea of sitting down and writing out a budget.  That sounded like an exhausting fight, considering the very subject of money started an argument ending in resentment toward each other.  We took bits and pieces of Dave's wisdom and chose the parts we wanted to do and did away with the rest.  Basically we tried to "outsmart" the system. 

Tony took all of our credit cards (including my precious Target REDcard) and froze them.  Literally.  They were in a plastic cup full of water in our freezer right next to the ice cream.  Because of our lack of communication and budget, a year ago we decided that until our lump sum bonus came in at the holidays, I would put all of our Christmas expenses on our credit card.  So I thawed it out and the thing was hardly dried off before I single handedly racked up $4,000 in credit card debt.  Somehow that whole time I thought I was being "frugal" too.

I was so sure Tony was going to divorce me when that bill came in the mail.  I opened it before he got home and tried to think of how I could justify this.  I couldn't even justify it to myself.  After all, there was no hiding it this time like I had done with so many previous purchases.  He was the only one who knew our online log ins and when and how to pay our bills.  I was clueless how much our bills even were each month.  I just spent until Tony told me to slow down each month.  We were still not communicating when it came to our finances.

It became clear our way wasn't working.  I finally admitted that I am not smarter than this Dave Ramsey character who has clearly has it together.  I wanted financial peace, everything at Target and a happy husband.  So far I have two out of three.  Talk to me in a few years ;)

The first time we sat down and wrote out a budget together I cried. It sucked. I won't lie. But to be honest, I quickly felt like I had gotten a raise because we had a very specific amount of money set for everything.  I no longer had to justify anything I bought.  Each dollar was spent on paper at the beginning of the month so I didn't need to feel any guilt about my lattes because there was a set amount for that, or buying shoes because there was a set amount for that...

It may be hard to believe, but our Sunday night "budget meetings" are something I now look forward to.  Tony and I have gotten much better at communicating in general because of it.  We sit down, just the two of us, and spend every dollar on paper.  I never thought sticking to a budget would be something I enjoy.  It all boils down to being intentional with our money and we are finally telling our money to go instead of wondering where it went. 

I will say that again --  We are finally telling our money where to go instead of wondering where it went.

As of today, we are still in the sucky "baby step 2" of the program but feel closer than ever. It's amazing to me how we have been cutting our budget and so focused on clearing all of our debts, which is the hardest part, and we are both here and smiling as we do it.  I always thought Tony and I were great together, but I had no idea how better our relationship could be.  We are on the same team and unified. When we feel sorry for ourselves having to say "no" to purchases, we just start dreaming again.  We talk about the causes we will eventually give to, the vacations we will take our family on and laugh about how many maids we are going to hire when we are millionaires (Tony says two, I am pushing for three).

Anyway, we have never gone through Financial Peace University, but it's a 9-week long class that is once a week and offered all over.  People rave about it, but the book was convincing enough for us.   There is an accountability I think people get from the class that is very valuable.  I would recommend the class to anyone whose spouse will not take the time to read the book (note: I was that spouse).  Some day I think we would like to be coordinators and host the class here in our town. 

I share this story, not because Dave Ramsey endorses or pays me to (but really, maybe he should...) but because of the transformation it has made in my life, in my marriage, and for our family.  Also, so you, my friends, can stop judging me when I have to say "no" to things or my not-yet-fixed dent in my Acura ;).  (That pole came out of nowhere, I swear!!)  On that note, the Total Money Makeover book is on sale right now online for only $10.  I think at Target, it costs over $22 (look at that -- saving money already!).

Our current goal is to be debt free by this coming Spring, but it looks like we may be able to do it later this Winter!  At one point we told Lucy that when this is all done maybe we can go to see Dave Ramsey and yell at his radio studio that "WE'RE DEBT FREE!", and she asks about it almost daily....so it looks like a trip to Nashville may be in our near future :)

Scentsy Giveaway!!

Christmas season is officially upon us.  It is truly the most. wonderful. time. of. the. freakin. year.  I am so excited to celebrate as a family of five.  Have I mentioned how amazing our fifth is?  I am head over heels in love with Oscar.  It's ridiculous really.

Anywho, today I am doing a giveaway, with perfect timing for holiday shopping!  A while back I started doing these giveaways to support my friends in their Mompreneur endeavors, as I have been so fortunate to receive amazing support and love in my own business.  A college friend of mine, Michelle, has been somewhat of a kindred spirit in the past couple of years of my life.  We had many mutual friends in college and went out in the same groups, but didn't really connect until after leaving good ol' UW-Stout.  As "adults", new moms, bloggers and Mompreneurs we have kept in touch, mostly through the online world with intermittent coffee dates, as we have much more common ground than we ever had before.

Michelle and her husband, JP, introduced Tony and I to the wisdom of Dave Ramsey and we are so very grateful for that ministry in our lives.  I know I mention it all the time in my blogs (and should really do a whole post dedicated to it-- you could say we've "drank the kool-aid"), but Michelle actually lent us the Total Money Makeover book, back in 2010.  As you may remember, we didn't do very well on our first "go" at it, but recommitted on the first day of 2012, and have paid off something crazy like eight credit cards and my car since then.  We are now hacking away at our last student loan and are on track to be debt free by Spring 2013.  I think we hoarded that book of Michelle's for over a year from the time we borrowed it and have since purchased our own iBook version....and returned that copy to Michelle and JP.  I do wish we had a hardcover version to lend out to people ourselves.

Anyway, Michelle has recently, because of The Total Money Makeover and Dave Ramsey's financial plans, quit her full time job to stay at home with her daughter Aubrey in the recent months.  This has all become possible for her family through her side business she started with Scentsy!

Now, I am not going to lie or sugar coat this, I was extremely skeptical when Michelle started up with this company -- not because I didn't think she could do it, but I wasn't really sold on the whole "yummy smelling candle" thing.  The first thing that came to mind was Partylite.  I have said before, and I will say again, though, that I do not endorse or blog about products that I do not use myself. 

For Christmas last year, I received a Scentsy warmer from a friend whose party I had missed and I kind of treated it, at first, as another piece of clutter that I was going to have to sell at my next garage sale, return to the Salvation Army, or (dare I say it?)...

regift. (Dun Dun Dunnnn)

It was actually my very macho, low maintenence husband, who, SURPRISE!, loves candles, who pulled the warmer out of the box.  I know he's a little embarrassed about his "thing" for candles, so I won't make fun of him too much.  He plugged the thing in on my mantle (which really stressed me out because I am sort of obsessed with my seasonal mantle decorating -- go ahead, judge) and put in some mysterious cubes of wax.  After some eye rolls and, I'm sure, some passive agressive comments about that "thing" on my mantle, I was pleasantly surprised by my awesome smelling house. 

Since then, we have this large warmer on almost constantly!  By the way, these warmers are much cooler than candles, because I don't have an open fire burning with two little ones, and the scent lasts much, much longer. Currently, my house smells like men's cologne (mmm) as I have cubes of "My Dear Watson" in.  Michelle shared some samples for me to smell, and my favorite fall scent has been "Caramel Pear Crisp", which was September's Scent of the Month.  I was nervous all of the fall scents were going to be cinnamon/nutmeg based, as I loathe cinnamon and nutmeg.  I would say there is a very faint hint of cinnamon in the Caramel Pear Crisp, and I cannot get enough of it.

Surprisingly, I think my favorite product is a toss up between the scent circle I have hanging up in my car (in "Weathered Leather"), the Fragrance Foam, or the solid perfume.  I have received many compliments on how I smell with the solid perfume on.  For me, the fragrance foam is AWESOME!  I own it in "Perfectly Pomegranate".  The reason I like it so much is because, since being pregnant with Clara I have had awful, painful and itchy exzema on my hands which has left my skin very thin and irritable.  Some soaps, hot or cold water, and even lotion with any fragrance can irritate it.  I don't dare use hand sanitizer as I have made that very painful mistake once or twice and my skin has turned bright red and stung for hours after.  (I won't even get into my jalapeno-seeding fiasco a couple weeks ago. I'll just say it included crying, hours of not being able to use my hands, being attached to a bowl full of vegetable oil and a call to the doctor's office).  The point is, I never thought I could use anything like this on my hands, but it is one of the very very few things that does not cause a reaction, most likely because it is alcohol-free.  Not to mention, it smells amazing!  For a busy mom like myself, I touch a lot of germy things and it is so nice to have an easy little pump for "washing" my hands.  It is basically a hand sanitizer substitute.  I would recommend it to anyone.

I have so many favorite scents from Scentsy that I simply cannot write about all of them, and I actually had a really hard time "narrowing it down".  Remember, I do not like cinnamon.  Those of you who do would probably have a much longer list of favorites for the Fall/Holiday season than mine, and you should really smell all of these! 

Pumpkin Marshmallow, Amber Road, Dulce de Leche, Havana Cabana, Sheer Innocence, Lotus Cove, Black Raspberry Vanilla, Linger, and Zephyr are some of my personal favorites...you know...just to name a few ;)

Because of my love of the product and the Christmas season, I purchased this adorable Blizzard plug-in to give to one lucky blog reader.  To be eligible, just comment on this thread with your favorite scent and why.  I am not asking for specific names of Scentsy scents, but general scents (i.e. vanilla, fresh cut grass, cinnamon....) and why it is your favorite. 

These plug ins are awesome because they are essentially just mini warmers.  For how inexpensive they are, they would make a perfect Christmas gift for kids' teachers, coaches, babysitters, overly friendly mailmen...

I, personally, am yet to purchase one for myself, but would like one as an air freshener for each of my bathrooms and they double as a night light as well!

I will announce the official winner on Friday, November 16, so you have until midnight the previous evening to comment and be eligible.  In the meantime, please shop my online party for your holiday gift list. It will only be open for two weeks!!!

I should mention, too, that the foam I love so dearly is on special this month, as are the Scentsy Buddies -- both are buy one get one!

Oscar

Last week we welcomed Oscar into the world. 



Lucky me, I have an awesome friend who happens to also be an awesome photographer.
Thank you again, Lynne, for these amazing memories I get to keep forever!

This is my new amazingly beautiful little big family (sans me, who was looking not so beautiful at the time, but definitely big, so I requested to not be photographed).

I am currently in a state of shock that here I am, 25 years old, mother of three?!  I cannot believe how fast the past five years have gone by, and how very busy they have been.

Without going on and on over the gory details of labor and delivery, I will say that little, over-cooked Oscar was far too big to come out the old fashioned way and I ended up having to have a C-section to get him out.  When they put him on the scale and he was only an ounce shy of eleven freaking pounds, it became very clear to everyone why I was not going to get this little big boy out on my own.



I come from a family of women who "birth" large babies, but I think my 10 lb, 15 oz-er takes the cake.  I am still in awe of how long I must have been walking around with an 8+ pound fetus in my abdomen, which is bigger than most newborns.  I ran into a friend at the Target Pharmacy (filling my serious pain killer prescriptions) who pointed out that her premature baby, who was 5 lbs 1 oz was actually less than half of Oscar's size.  I guessed he would be just over 9....

Up until last week I thought women who had Cesareans got the "easy way out", but it turns out it is a very serious and painful surgery.  I do not know how people go through this more than once.  Regardless of my awful deliveries with the girls, this recovery is, by far, the worst.  I realized how awful it was the first time I tried to get out of my hospital bed.  Let's just say it proved to be much more challenging (actually, impossible) than after Lucy was born and an hour later I got up to shower on my own.

After being able to use my arms again and holding Oscar, I was wondering where he was hiding all his weight.  Unlike his big sisters who were born with their mom's bubble butt and thick thighs, he has hardly anything on his legs, and no butt at all.  Tony told me all his weight was in his neck, and later the nurses told us his chest measurement is bigger than his head, making him unique from most newborns. (This was proven to be true when his coming-home-outfit wouldn't button at the top,leaving his maly chest hair exposed)  My strong husband glowed at this revelation.  I think we may have a future defensive lineman in our family after all.

 

As our lives together seems to go, Oscar was not our only exciting news last week.  Before picking me up from the hospital to take us both home, Tony was offered a promotion at work, moving to the corporate offices.  This has been an answer to several prayers.  I could not be more proud of my husband.

As for the girlies--  Lucy is like an old lady baby-hog who wants to hold and stare at her baby brother any chance she gets.  We actually fight over him a little bit.  Clara has no concept of the word "gentle" and tries to climb on top of him, literally smothering him with kisses and constantly repeats "Oh!  He smiled at me!"  They are over the moon in love...and so am I :)

 

 

A Baby Story

As my little "Tiny" turns two, I remember all of the details of the day she came into the world.  As a pregnant woman, other women see you as a walking sign that says "Please, share your horror/birth stories with me.  Don't leave out any of the gore and scare me as much as you can".  I swore while pregnant with Lucy that I would never do that to another woman, but now I get it.  I understand now that what you go through while giving birth is so incredible, scary, and unbelievable that, even when told repeatedly, you still can't wrap your head around exactly was has just happened.  It's like a war wound or a rite of passage. 


I feel a disclaimer is in order,  for this is a birth story.  You have been warned.  If you don't want to read about things like dilating cervix, think it's TMI or simply don't care, then I advise you skip this post.  If you want to scare your teenage daughter from ever getting pregnant, feel free to pass this one on.

This time two years ago, I was a whale.  I was scheduled to be induced on a Tuesday, the 13th of July.  The night before, my parents rushed down here to Austin to stay for a couple of days with Lucy while I was in the hospital.  I had everything all set up-the bassinet next to my bed, little white onesies (we didn't know we were having another little girl) all washed and folded in a drawer, new diapers all set out... I was instructed not to eat anything that morning and be in Albert Lea (a 20 min drive) by 6:30am or something ridiculous. 

When I got up at 5am, I immediately received a phone call from the hospital; ...we are really sorry...too many women who have gone into labor on their own...understaffed for today....we will call you later...
I simply didn't know what to do.  I felt sorry for myself, pouted, sat around, cried...all in a mumu, I'm sure.  My dishes were done, my house was spotless and ready for a newborn.  I was supposed to be having a baby today.  Now what?

My dad kept asking me what I thought they should do.  Should they go home?  Will I go into labor soon on my own?  How long do I think they should stay?  How long do you think this will take?  All things, of course, I couldn't answer.  I was only that much more frustrated.  My little brother (soon-to-be 9 years old) was disappointed that my new induction date was rescheduled for two days later, on his birthday, because he "wanted to wake up at his own house that day".  Poor Jacob was complaining to the wrong person, and I think he may have gotten the brunt of my wrath.  I could have snapped at anyone that day, and a whiny nine-year-old was not going to get any sympathy from me, to put it nicely.

I was wanting to go into labor on my own this entire pregnancy, as Lucy's labor was induced and awful (but that is a whole other blog post).   Like I said, they rescheduled my induction for two days later, meaning I had two more days to go into labor on my own...and two more days to be miserable in the summer heat, with my family waiting around, asking if they should continue to wait around or not.  Finally, my mom and I got out of the house.  We went for pedicures, while I sulked in a smoothie.  The Asian ladies at the nail salon pretended not to understand English when I asked them to rub my ankles to induce labor.

My mom stuck around, though she had a flight to catch on the 14th (which she rescheduled to the 15th).  We went for pizza (my third night in a row--I was told there is a certain pizza here in town that puts women into labor) and then a very long walk.  The next morning was the 14th and it was the hottest day of the summer. Every time I would have a contraction that day, my mom would wishfully declare that we should go to the hospital.  Finally, that evening, after they were 5 minutes apart consistently for a couple of hours, I called Tony at work to come home just an hour early and take me to the hospital.  My contractions were steady and big, and I was excited to have 1) gone into labor on my own and 2) be meeting my new baby boy or girl that evening.

On our way, while we drove, rain was pouring to the point that we were at a complete stop on I-90 and unable to see anything.  It was that perfect, dramatic urgency I missed out on the first time, and almost missed again.  When we got to the hospital, they showed us to my room.  It was kind of a let down after being spoiled by a brand new birthing unit in Wisconsin two years prior.  To give you an idea, Tony made jokes like, "Let's play a game.  Count the number of different wood grains in this room.  I've got six."

The nurses told me I wasn't dilated much, despite my steady contractions.  They told me that my doctor still planned to hook me up to Pitocin to the next morning for an induction, a drug that I wanted nothing to do with after an awful experience the first time around.  I didn't (and still don't) understand why they didn't want to just let nature take its course.  Even when I asked if I should walk around, the nurse replied, "Well, that might move things along".  Ummm, yeah?  Isn't that the idea?  Basically, they wanted me to just sleep that night and let my doctor deal with me in the morning.

They did give me a lovely pain killer called Nubane, which had me dreaming about life-sized Sour Patch kids having a tiki party in my backyard.  (When given this drug in labor with Lucy, I tried to get Tony to snuggle with me on the hospital bed in front of my mom).  The nurse went to get me some shaved, flavored ice and by the time she got back, I was so wasted, basically, that I didn't have the coordination to feed myself.  I still vividly remember the look on Tony's face when I asked him to spoon-feed me.  You could say I have a way of embarrassing him in front of people at the hospital.

We thought for sure we would have a newborn that night with a July 14th birthdate, but Clara had other plans.  After the Nubane wore off sometime in the late hours of the night/early hours of the morning, I asked the nurse in a half-joking matter when I could get that good old epidural.  (This is where the story gets really good).  "Oh, we don't do those here!" she said.

Queue my stomach dropping like a rock, along with my face most likely.  How this never came up in the nine months prior to this moment is still beyond me.

I thought for sure she was making a not-in-the-least-bit-funny joke.  She told me they do a spinal block that is "similar" to an epidural but it doesn't exactly numb you.  It "just takes the edge off" she said.  I grabbed Tony by the arm and told him to start the car, and call my doctor back in Wisconsin to let her know we are on our way.  "I can hold this baby in for three more hours if it means getting an epidural from Dr. Stygar."  Everyone laughed.  I was completely serious, desperate, and had been in pain for hours now.  I felt like I was about to jump out of a plane and someone saying "Oh, by the way, you don't have a parachute...good luck!" and pushing me to my death.

I may sound a bit dramatic here (me? no!), but I think it's safe to say that the spinal block was THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.  It did not take away pain, and I immediately itched all over my body.  They had mentioned itching was a side effect, but I thought they meant in the way I itched a little bit after my epidural wore off my first labor and delivery.  Instantly I was scratching all over so desperately that Tony warned me I had to stop scratching my face before I started bleeding.  I was red all over, crying and scratching.  To help me out they gave me Benadryl via IV.  Not the best idea for someone who, at this point, hasn't fully rested or slept in over 24 hours and had a long road of pushing ahead.

Now I never believed women before when they talked about this "urge to push", until I experienced it myself while in labor with Lucy.  My body really did take over and want to start pushing this baby out.  The nurse told me that I wasn't dilated enough yet and couldn't push.  So imagine me, red, itchy, exhausted, full of pain, fighting an urge to push with every contraction.  I had some choice words for her.

Fast forward about an hour or so to the part where they finally let me push and push I did.  I pushed for two and a half hours, blacking out in between from the pain/overwhelming exhaustion.  The only parts of this I remember are yelling at my doctor to get her hands out of my body (and her kindly complying at one point), and the doc telling me to relax because I was "out of control" and "hysterical".  Oh yes, and there were a few times she told me that I was screaming too loud.  I had also yelled "there has to be another way to do this!" to which my doctor replied, "C-Section?"  I think I tried to convince her to cut me open, but that part is still a little blurry...

Finally, a nine-pound toddler-sized-infant came out, cellulite on her little butt and all.  They threw her on my chest and we are both lucky she didn't slip right off, as I hardly caught her.  (I forgot they do that, as I had requested the first time that they clean her off before handing her to me).  They said she is a girl and I was thrilled.  When they took her away to weigh her I remember the nurse asking Tony if we had a name picked out.  Tony looked at me and asked, "Clara?"  Yes.  She was a perfect, sweet, Clara.  She looked like a less chunky version of newborn Lucille.  My biggest regret looking back is how long it took me to get over the pain, as I wish I could have taken that sweet girl in a bit more.  My friend Amanda still laughs about the phone call afterward.  I guess I wasn't the beaming, proud new mother I should have been...yet.  The wounds must have been a little fresh.

I would call what happened to me that day, nothing short of a train ripping me apart from the inside out.  Yep, that sounds pretty accurate.  I thought my labor with Lucy was bad until I gave birth to Clara.  If I had to compare the two births, I would say my labor with Clara was 10..... mayyyybe 20 times worse than it was with Lucy.  So yeah, the second time was not easier than the first like they say it's supposed to be.  I'm hoping third time's a charm?

Despite my desperate pleas at that time with Tony to "remind me of this when I say I want a third", here we are two years later, happy as can be, expecting another.  It truly is the most painful thing women go through but the quickest pain they forget, I guess.

Anyhow, today, two years later, here we are at Clara's second birthday party and what a perfect, painless day it was!

Happy birthday to my beautiful, little Clara Louise!  You have brought so much joy into our lives in the two short years you have been here.  Your sweet, little voice, and sassy demeanor have added "many layers of ruffles" to our everyday lives.  You bring smiles your dad, sister and I constantly and we are blessed to have you in our family.  I hope you will always know how loved you are.

...and in case you forget, I will keep this story for you to read.  I may also pull it out anytime you say I never did anything for you ;)

XOXO,
Mama

Boy oh Boy...

I realize I haven't written since we found out the sex of our new little family addition this fall.  The girls were both voting for another sister and I had a pretty good idea they were not going to get one, so I wanted to make this as fun for them as possible.  For those of you who aren't on facebook (or are living under a rock) here is the great gender reveal we had back in May with the girls.

To be honest, I cannot even watch this video one more time because my voice is soooo terribly annoying to me and Clara played this over and over on repeat on the iPad to the point that that giant GASP after "noooo way!!" haunts me and sometimes I can't listen to myself without being reminded of my voice in that video and how annoying it is.  In case you couldn't tell, Tony and I also had no idea what the inside of the cupcakes were going to be.  (Does my incessant chatting and cutting Tony off mid sentence give it away?  "Okay! Yep!  Eat up!") Looking back it cracks me up that Lucy happens to be wearing blue and Clara is wearing pink.  Someone had suggested that we have the girls dress in the colors that they think will be inside the cupcakes and I thought that was really over the top.  It was unintentional and pure coincidence they happened to be wearing these colors.  Also, I think that may be the first blue piece of clothing Lucy has ever worn/owned.   Since finding out, the girls have not once said they wish they were having a sister.  I think they think, since the big reveal, they had something to do with that decision....which is clearly not the case.

So life since finding out we are having a boy.  It is strange.  I don't know if it feels so strange because I have never had a boy and I don't know what to do with one or because I have never known which gender I was carrying in the past and it feels like a shock but without the "look at you! here you are!" factor.  I will say that the best (and maybe worst) part, though, is the....wait for it....shopping.

I think my friend Amanda put it best.  Girls are easier to shop for a) because there are cuter things out there for girls and more of them and b) you can buy a $6 dress for a girl on a Target clearance rack (that doesn't have an obnoxious animal  appliqued on the front of it) and b) it is an entire ensemble that requires no further purchases such as pants.

As I have been shopping for "baby O", his closet has revealed to me that I apparently only like plaid button downs and soft hoodies.  This might be a problem, as boys need pants and moms that will buy them some.  So far I have written off all boy pants as ugly.  I have decided this fall/winter (as in the first sixish months of his life) he is only going to wear sleeper/rompers that are one piece because of my distaste for pants, which you would think would be easy, but the challenge is to find some that are plain.  For some reason it is more expensive to buy them plain than it is to buy them with some obnoxious, primary colored dog/fish/dinosaur/truck/train sewn on the front.  Ugh.  (Side note: I have decided nautical themes, very small trademarks such as the babyGap teddy bear and footballs are okay....I have a soft spot for boys who play football, who knew?)

To further add to the challenge, Tony and I are making some awesome progress on our Total Money Makeover, which naturally cramps the clothing budget a bit, so I have to not only clothe this little boy and his two big sisters and my growing belly and my shrinking husband, but I have to do my best to do it on the cheap.  This has led me to my first eBay purchase last week, which was, of course, 7 plaid/lumberjack shirts for baby O for only $22.  (Another side note: I always swore I would never be one of those people who has to tell you what a good deal something was when I got a compliment on it and now I am one of those people/my own mother).  I may be turning into one of those crazies who is glued to their computer screen, online shopping, who buys/sells kids clothes online.  Time will tell when my first auction on some of the girls' old clothes closes in two days.  Yikes!

So yeah, to find boy clothes to actually cover a baby boy's body that are inexpensive and not hideous...Please, share tips.

Clothing aside, I was feeling all sorts of anxiety about bringing a boy into this family with two very dominant females as older siblings and wondering what that would be like for him.  I try not to foresee painted toenails and princess dresses on my rough and tumble little guy, but it is the first image that comes to mind.  I have this theory about boys needing brothers which makes me feel like we should try for another boy after this one which is just a whole new can of worms that I can't wrap my head around and really shouldn't try.  Four kids?!?  Wow.

At one point I said I wanted five.  Then I had one and thought that one was probably plenty.  Ahem.

The other hard part is boy names.  While T and I agree on boy names easier than we ever did on girl names, I am a little tired of many of the boy names that are really kind of "left over" from my previous pregnancies with the girls.  I also feel a lot of pressure naming a boy.  I want his name to be tough, but would hate the thought of him being made fun of for a tough name if he turns out to be a toenail-painted-princess-dress-wearer.  For example, we had this misconception with such a fiery, little Lucy our second child was for sure going to be this sweet, little quiet girl.  That sweet little Clara turned out to be even sassier than her big sister.  I still love her name, though :)

I am excited to have a boy.  I am feeling overwhelmed with feelings of the unknown, but I am definitely excited.  I do have daydreams of watching my son play football whatever sport he chooses, playing in dirt (again watching, not participating in), learning what it means to be a man of God from his daddy and him comparing every other woman he meets in his lifetime up to me, his mother...and all of them falling short in wit, beauty, wisdom and cooking (just to name a few areas)....just kidding...kind of :). 

But anyway, speaking of "sweet little Clara", she is turning two on Sunday.  Extra prayers for me, please, as things like birthdays and other huge milestones make me extra weepy and the pregnancy doesn't help that.  That little ball of sass is more "two" everyday and I am reminded of why this age is just as special and fun as it is challenging.  Today she was carrying around her two baby dolls telling them to "focus" as she tried to sit them in the back of the car.  This is a word I commonly use in the morning when trying to get the girls in their shoes and out the door.  Her saying "focus, babies!" was much cuter than when it comes out of my mouth in frantic panic.

Lucy has been talking a lot, lately, about when she grows up.  Over dinner not very long ago I told her that when she grows up she will get to buy her own house and have a big-girl job, and she can be a mommy if she wants... until I noticed her crying and Tony queuing me to stop.  She must have been overwhelmed and scared because she told me "Mommy, I never want to leave this house.  I want to live with you and Daddy forever!"  Since then she has asked me several times if she can get married and still live here and be my best friend, go to happy hour with me, start a book club with me, as well as exercise together and get pedicures instead of napping in the afternoons.  Naturally I agreed and I totally mean it.  I am secretly hoping she still wants to do all of these things even in ten years from now :)

The Great Gender Debate

Consuming my thoughts of late is to know or not to know the sex of baby #3.  It's a good debacle to be in, really.  Everyday, I change my mind.  We I did not want to know with Lucy (which is so not "me"), and tried to find out with Clara (after much debate) who wasn't cooperating for the ultrasound, so both my girls were surprises...and wonderful surprises at that!  There really was nothing better after 17 hours of labor than hearing the words "It's a girl!!"  and it was no less exciting hearing it the second time. 

Someone told me, while pregnant with Lucy, that knowing the gender of their unborn child helped them bond.  These words really haunted me for a while.  I remember the first couple of days post-partum looking at both of the girls in shock, thinking who are you? but I can confidently say it did not take long for the babes and I to be acclimated to one another :).

 I spent most of my pregnancies assuming they were both boys,  even though I had dreams with both of them that they were girls, which brings me to my third.  I am almost positive this one is a boy, though the girls protest and would like another baby sister.  I had a dream that Lucy told me, disappointed, that this baby is a boy.  When I woke up that morning, real-life Lucy told me she had a dream that night that the baby was a boy.  Similar dreams in the same night?  I think this means boy.  My nurse practitioner messed up this theory when she told me she has three girls and had a dream that her third was a boy...hmm...

Everyone assumes we are really hoping for a boy this time, but it would really be easier to have another girl...short-term, anyway.  We already have a pink high chair and a lavender nursery.  And though I don't believe in going to the hospital with one, final name choice, Tony and I agree on a girl name for the first time ever.  So, yeah, we are probably going to have a boy :)

If we do decide to find out, I am going to ask for the "results" in a sealed envelope so we can find out together with the girls.  I think gender reveal parties are narcissistic, and I don't love trends, but should we find out, we plan to do gender reveal cupcakes :)

I do not often ask for other people's thoughts and opinions on such matters (as you can see I have formed some strong opinions on the topic myself), but I would like for my friends and family to weigh in on this one.  To find out or not to find out?

Also, I obviously already know all of the fun things that come with having girls, so if you would please share all of the things there are to look forward to with having a boy (as that is unknown territory to me), that would be greatly appreciated...as well as links to cute boy clothes :)  K thanks!

Everyone Poops

Clara just peed and pooped on the potty.  Both were a first.  I got so excited that I took a picture of her overlooking her turd in the toilet and emailed it to Tony at work.  I am taking full responsibility for the fact that this is an over-share on all accounts.  I couldn't be more proud of little Tiny and her poop, and I acknowledge how obnoxiously "mom" that is.  I truly believe that potty training is not something you can force upon your child and they decide themselves when they are fully ready, but at 20 months, I think Clara is pretty darn close :)

While encouraging her to sit still on the pot, I was frantically searching my iPad for a copy of the book "Everyone Poops" without much luck.  This is the book I kept finding, but I am looking for the version I remember as a child with a bright red background and a little kid with a black afro on the cover sitting on a little potty.  Am I making this up?  Does anyone know what book I'm talking about?  I vividly remember a page in the book where there is a pile of poop on the floor?  No?

Anyway, Clara just pooped on the potty.  I deemed it blog-worthy.  Enjoy your day :)